to you and to me

In hard times we grow and in hard times we learn to take bigger leaps into the future that promises us endless shots at happiness. In hard times we preserve and in hard times we realize that we can be so much more than what we are now. Hold on tight to Faith and you'll see magic. Don't stop believing. Never stop believing.

xoxo

Things changes all the time.. you just gotta learn to adapt

2 months more before we turn 1 "and all I feel in my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind, making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel right"

Tomorrow I cut my hair and I hope it turns out well.

This was dinner on Tuesday at one of my favorite korean BBQ restaurant with Cheryl and Pereguin. I love that place because it brings back lots of fond memories like for example, my 19th birthday. Probably not the best time of my life but I guess it still worth a smile when I look back. Sometimes I miss these people and start wondering if they are doing well just as I am and I feel bad that we have to part despite sticking around with each other through years of crap and significant moments. I honestly think it's a real pity but I guess its inevitable. Some people walk in, some people walk out and that's all part of life. That said, I really consider myself lucky enough that through all these years filled with up and downs, one always managed to stick around and I suppose that is enough. After all, one should always count their blessings ;)

'Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep me flying high in the sky of love

happi happi burfday love

The start of May was pretty tough to get by but I guess things are getting better. Now, those days where tears, sorrows and disorientation engulfs me will serve as my daily reminders as to how I should take mine and the life of others seriously. I'm also much more motivated to forgive/let go/or overlook the petty, insignificant arguments and as much as I can, to always keep the people I love happy. That said, I've been working very hard, both physically and mentally, to make sure I stick to my resolutions so I am actually pretty proud of myself! Hahah

So, it's my long awaited break from school so I have lots of time to do what I can and more importantly, what I like. And speaking of that, I'll be going to Bangkok again this holiday and I'm over the moon. I've been wanting to go back there for all the great shopping, food and massage and it's finally happening. Only downside is that now I have to extend my spend-less-save-more scheme which can be really taxing at times when I see gorgeous dresses at really affordable prices (which by the way, is pretty often now with all the online stores) but if it's all for a good vacation then I guess it's definitely gonna worth it.

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.
Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet. "Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO

It's been a really really rough week but I hope it will get better as time goes by

I think it's really my time to let go

Anyway, I keep thinking about growing old with you and how happy we are going to be. you, me, our family and our bunch of friends. but these days it's scaring me a little because I never thought much about building my future with someone else that's not me but now.. that's all I think about all day.

Of course I didn't care much about the rest of the things he said after that cause all I can think about is that comparison made. It was like voices trapped within tightly sealed jars that's meant to keep the cookies from turning bad and the sad thing is, I can't loosen it. I was mad. Really mad. But I didn't figure out why I was then. Couldn't. I didn't get myself too. Why was I mad? Not that it wasn't a fact he was stating. So technically speaking, there was nothing to be mad about unless I intend to be unreasonable and get mad with the truth or with honesty or anything/people that associates with it. Then when I hung up and started thinking again. I realized. I wasn't mad. I was hurt. And I guess that's much more worse than being mad. Because in the course of life and relationships, I have come to, under bitter circumstances and experiences, learnt that being hurt is something that is far more exhausting and demands way more effort to heal and that occasionally, some wounds just won't ever disappear or stop haunting you.

Thank you for loving me and a whole lot of other stuff that I can never finish listing

Not sure how I should react to this endless greed for love

.

Thboy will be leaving for Bangkok tomorrow and I'm not sure what to feel about staying in Singapore without him and at the same time buried in piles of assignments that are all due next week. Mostly I think about how to deal with the latter. I have, according to Clar, 55 actual human figure drawings to be done and I don't think I'm up to it. I keep thinking about how in movies they always have this particular classmate who take up odd jobs like helping his/her fellow classmate complete their work. I think I can offer a decent price for that sort of job. But the problem is there is no such classmate in my situation. No one have extra time for odd jobs anymore. Oh no... What is the world becoming?

The face that never fails to lit me up

start of a new year

i welcomed 2013 holding the hands of two of my favourite people in the world and on top of that, beautiful fireworks are bursting in the sky at the same time. what more can i ask for?

new year's day is time meaningfully spent at the hospital followed by a scrumptious steamboat for dinner with thboy and jack. also, earlier on during the walk back home after lunch, thboy decided that i should add in 'going to the gym with him once a month' into my list of 2013 resolutions but i rejected without considering but now that i look back, maybe i should really slot that in. or maybe not..

now deep in my throat lives an ulcer that hurts everytime i swallow my saliva. the pain is slight and bearable for now and to prevent it to hurt more, i drink a cup of water everytime i walk in the kitchen but it doesn't seem like it's helping and i'm now trying to envision the time that comes when my throat is so red and sore i lose my voice and the ability to eat whatever i like and the nagging voice of thboy beside my ear continuously denying me my favourite junk foods. should that happen, it shall be conferred my first disaster of 2013. so they say.. good times don't last?