It's like he jumped out from some romantic movie and right into my life in front of my eyes.

I uh… I ummmm…. I can't ssss-sleeeeeeppppp. I have spent the past 1 and a quarter hour doing absolutely nothing. Am so glad I got itunes for company. Would have continued Fifty Shades of Grey if only I didn't remind myself of the belt issue this evening at Georgie's. I am bored… and doomed because I need to wake in like about 4 hours time. Now I pray the sleeping juice puts me to sleep this Sunday night and everything will revert back to normal.

I don't know why but oftentimes it seems to me like I am incapable of feeling anything else besides guilt. Like as if every mistake was made by me and that the only good thing I can do is walk away.

I had my hair colored brown today and now I feel weird when I look into the mirror but I like it. It's something new and I have been thinking about it for a very long time and I finally got to do it so I like it. Yeah… even if it's weird.

Had a great dinner at Astons with the girls tonight. Spent time coming clean with everything that happened in between and I know.. no matter what I say, it wouldn't change the fact that I erred but I was sure that no matter what I do, they would be okay with it in the end and that they would embrace me despite the many flaws I possess. That even though we may not be the best for each other all the time, we would still have each other forever.

Anyway, it's my mom's birthday today and I texted her something really sweet at like 12 sharp earlier on hoping to get a reply but I receive none. Yeah. How rude my mom is. I try to understand though, because there's a chance she might not understand what I was trying to say in the text and also because I'm very possibly the only daughter in the world who would get her own mom a hair clip worth only $3.90. Not that I despise that amount of money but I figured anyone would think $3.90 is too little an amount for a decent birthday gift considering the fact that it is not even enough for a complete meal at Mcdonalds. However, I do have my reasons for doing so but I also believe that there is none that can be counted acceptable hence I decided maybe I should just stop here and go back to eating the leftover rice and soup my sister bought for her dinner today.

Goodnight all.

Everyone's being such an angel to me. Remind me why did I leave in the first place again?

But I shouldn't let it matter to me whether they like me or not because so what if they don't?