You're the anchor holding me down and it may be good if I wanted to stay but I wanted to go.

Tomorrow I will be going for a job interview at 12 noon and I hope I get through. I have an urgent need to make more money and also more importantly, because I'm running out of videos to watch and things to do at home and plus it seems like a really good job for now so… I hope I get through. I always hope I get through. It's like the only thing I do since I got out of school and it's starting to get to me. You know… the hope part? How you have to be patient and wait for a period of time before the final verdict gets pass down to you by mail or through a phone call. It's exhausting. That period of time. It's like having your head on the guillotine waiting for someone to release that blade down but that someone don't and you're just there waiting… Awww… that's gross. Not a good sign. Argh. Why would I even use that as an example. Bad omen.

By the way, the improving myself physically plan I mentioned back at the end of March isn't working. Unless you call rolling back and forth on the bed a form of exercise, I've did basically nothing from then till now and I'm starting to feel really bad letting myself down. However, I'm going to look at things optimistically and continue to work harder because Dalai Lama said "No matter what activity or practice we are pursuing, there isn't anything that isn't made easier through constant familiarity and training." so I may be lacking but I sure as hell am not gonna stop working on it. Hence, I'm in the process of releasing an upgraded version of myself and well, I'm intending to let my history make me stronger not make me falter. Ahh.. Not quite convincing huh?

You were the only guy whom had more than 1 photo with me in my profile pictures. Probably wouldn't mean anything to you but sure means a lot to me. But who knows you could do the things you do even after everything that we went through. Well, that just says so much about your take on friendship and the mother fucking "I love you"s you said when we were together. Guess it was wrong to think that we can count on you.

I have been spending plenty of time in slumber dreaming dreams that don't make sense and when I wake up, I can't tell between what really happened and what not. Like if I actually had a conversation on the phone or if I did read a message from my inbox Or both of it never happened at all. Well, I could check the records on my cellphone and everything would be clear again but let's just say I like it murky or that I'm just plain lazy.

I will be going to KL later at midnight about 2 - 3AM. It's a short getaway trip for the family. I don't know what we will be doing but I hope we will be staying in a good hotel and have lots of good food. Mmmmm…….